Tag Archives: #forgiveness

Spirituality, Uncategorized

Silent Witness

According to some disturbing statistics, one third of women will experience physical or sexual violence during their lifetime. The real number is higher because many times the crimes aren’t reported.

My friend, Ashley Spence, published her first book in January of 2025. “Silent Witness” is an unvarnished look at her life, the crime committed against her, and her recovery.

Ashley is one of the bravest women I have ever met. A lot of people call me themselves “activists,” yet never get active about anything. Ashley is the real deal. She has dedicated her life to bringing DNA legislation to life which is what led to her attacker getting caught, prosecuted and sentenced to 137 1/2 years in prison.

Every year Ashley testifies in legislatures all over the United States, sharing her story and reliving a horrific incident. And there are other challenges to consider. Ashley is a single parent to two young children which means there are many nights she is away from home. Yet she handles her responsibilities completely.

Many women suffer in silence. In my prison work I have met dozens of women who have been victims of rape and abuse. I have seen firsthand the pain they are living with. I encourage them to keep talking about what happened to them with someone they can trust. Bringing the horror into the light weakens any potential power it may have over them.

I encourage you to get the book. Some parts are hard as hell to read. But Ashley’s story is a great reminder that through finding forgiveness in our hearts, we find freedom…

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Spirituality, Uncategorized

No Do-overs

There are no do-overs in this life. When we say something mean or hurtful, or screw up, we live with it and move forward. But consider this: What if we could have a second chance?

We serve the God of second chances. His ability to forgive is beyond human comprehension. As humans we don’t have the ability to forget the bad things we have done. In fact, we play them over and over in our heads like they are a lowlight reel or something.

Scripture tells us that God forgives and forgets our sins when we ask forgiveness. Our challenge is forgiving ourselves. We hold onto our past like it’s the National Treasure. If you are in this position, I encourage you to let it go if you are truly sorry. This means you want to be different in the future. If this is true, then have a real change of heart.

I see people who beat themselves up over past mistakes. This serves no meaningful purpose. Have the temerity to move in a new, different, better direction. It will require a change in your thinking. But you can do it if you refuse to quit.

We are so fortunate to worship a God of patience, compassion and forgiveness. His love for us is indescribable. Go experience it for yourself…

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Spirituality, Uncategorized

The Mystery of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is hard. People are carrying hurts and pain from the past that no one sees. But when we look deeper, we can see. Let’s look further into this.

Unresolved conflicts can damage us. Lack of forgiveness can manifest into resentment and resentment leads to bitterness. This is how we see the pain buried in others. Some people become so eaten up with hatred that they are very difficult to be around.

On the cross, Jesus asked God to “forgive them, for they know not what they are doing.” Jesus had been beaten, tortured, ridiculed and spat upon, but he wants God to forgive the ones who were persecuting him. What an incredible act of forgiveness.

The people who hurt you don’t deserve forgiveness. So why should I forgive them, you may wonder. This is the mystery: forgiveness is for you, not the offender. By forgiving those who harmed you, it frees you from the forces that can destroy you from within. You are free.

True forgiveness takes time. It cannot be forced or rushed. Practicing gratitude will lead to forgiveness and many more benefits. But you gotta do the work.

Try it. Set yourself free…

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Spirituality

Forget It

Do you have to keep a list of things you need to do, and cross them off as you accomplish them? I do. There’s a lot to do on any given day.

But let’s talk about forgiveness. You may have had someone tell you to “forgive and forget.” But the truth is we aren’t able to forget, even after genuinely forgiving someone. Only God can forget. There’s another reason He’s God and we’re not.

The hardest one to forgive is ourself. Every moment of our life is stored in the subconscious mind. Bad memories may not be at the forefront of our minds but they are in there. It is possible to offer ourselves self-forgiveness and still hold harmful memories. It takes work, but it’s possible.

Focus on what you have done well in your life. Think about the times you were unselfish. Stay present of mind on those moments, not the ones you beat yourself up over.

Add the things you are holding onto to your list. The things that bother you. Face them. Forgive yourself while forgiving others, too. The past is good for one thing: learn from it…

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Spirituality, Uncategorized

The Sadness of Forgiveness

Everyone has been hurt by others. That’s universal. And we have all hurt other people. That is universal, too. But what do we do with the pain?

Forgiveness requires a lot. We must get over our desire to hurt back. When we let go of our need for revenge we can move to the next step: Letting go of the past hurt. By letting go we aren’t giving the offender a “hall pass” for the offense. But we are releasing any potential power it may have over us. This is when the power of forgiveness accelerates.

There’s a sadness that can occur when we forgive. It’s almost like losing a friendship, even though it isn’t a good friendship. When the desire to let go overtakes the desire to hold on, we have arrived.

This takes time. It can’t be rushed or forced. Forced outcomes aren’t genuine. Forgiveness is growth, too. Forgiveness is for you, not the offender.

If you are holding on to a hurt from the past, it is my hope that you will move forward on the road to forgiveness. Keep healthy boundaries up so it doesn’t happen again. But don’t shut down completely. Isolation is as harmful as lack of forgiveness.

Everything begins with gratitude…

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Spirituality

The Enemy Within

A couple of years ago I read two scientific articles that said, according to their research, around 80% of adults in the United States didn’t like themselves. Eighty percent? This shocked me. Then I thought about it.

Every day you see people tearing others down in the public forum known as the internet. People use their keyboards and phone screens to say things they wouldn’t say in person. Their passive-aggressive behavior reigns.

Jesus told us to “love our neighbors as we love ourselves.” When fear, anger and even hatred are settled in the heart of man, they will destroy you from within. How can you feel good about yourself with those ruling your inner psyche? You will do further harm by expressing yourself in a way that damages others. It’s a never ending cycle of futility.

Fear, anger and hate are rooted in unresolved issues that require forgiveness. Make no mistake, forgiveness is hard and it isn’t automatic. True forgiveness takes time. It cannot be forced.

I encourage you to continue working on yourself. When the enemy within needs forgiveness, face it. You, and your relationship with others, will benefit. After all, forgiveness is for you, not the offender…

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Spirituality

Deception

Deception is evil. Think about it. It’s a willful act to defraud someone or withhold information, causing great harm. Entire court cases have been overturned because the prosecution withheld key evidence.

The biggest deceiver of all time is Satan. His schemes have a predictable pattern. Tempt, confuse and then convict. Let’s face it, temptation is exciting. You feel like you’re living on the edge, in the danger zone. You are in danger. Giving in to what we know is wrong damages us. Fortunately, God has given us a path to redemption. We can be forgiven and restored. But the evil one will keep trying.

The most heinous thing someone can do is mislead a child. Children rely on adults to lead them and teach them. Some of today’s woke adults are influencing our most innocent citizens with ideology meant for harm. Solid, consistent parenting is necessary and it’s not an option.

All of us have been guilty of deceiving others. Forgive yourself. Beating yourself up is pointless, especially if you don’t intend to do it again.

Be honest with yourself. Take inventory and update it regularly. Holding ourselves accountable helps keep deception out of our lives. And remember to talk to God when you’re feeling tempted. He will help us every time…

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Spirituality

Forgetful

Do you ever walk into a room and forget why you went in there? My favorite thing to forget is people’s names. Faces I remember. Names no.

Many people are carrying painful memories in their hearts. As humans, we cannot forget. God alone has that power. But we can forgive. Forgiveness changes the dynamics of the pain.

We don’t want to forgive because by forgiving them we feel like we are letting them off the hook. And they don’t deserve our forgiveness. This is all true, but forgiveness is for you, not the offender.

When you forgive someone, it’s like releasing an imaginary weight you have been carrying around. The offense no longer has any power or influence over you. You don’t forget. You release.

Forgiveness is hard, I know. It takes time. You cannot force it, but you can stay open to it. If you close the door to forgiveness, it’s really difficult to open it.

Keep the door open, just a tiny crack. See what happens…

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Spirituality

The Trojan Horse

Borrowing from a story in Greek mythology, the Trojan Horse represents cunning and deception. The story was shared as a teaching metaphor. But have we learned anything from it?

Everyone has been hurt and deceived by others. We aren’t without fault because we have said or done things to others we wish we hadn’t. Forgiveness is vital for us who live in a civil society, but we cannot and should not forget. We don’t need to be anyone’s punching bag, so release the offenders from your life.

When people ask for forgiveness, we can at least consider it. You can forgive them without letting them back in your life. Their actions will tell you whether they mean it or not. What we do needs to align with what we say.

When someone who has repeatedly hurt you or lied to you wants back in your life, consider the story of the Trojan Horse. Forgive, but don’t forget. Keep the repeat offenders as far away as possible…

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#inspiration, #spirituality

Damage Done

I grew up in a home filled with constant tension. If I accidentally spilled a glass of water I would be told “you’re not worth a damn. You’ll never amount to anything.” My home could become violent, too. I never knew what might set my father off. I felt alone.

The brain is an incredibly efficient marvel. It created coping mechanisms which allowed me to function through the chaos. But coping mechanisms are short-term solutions. They aren’t meant to sustain us indefinitely.

I took a lot of insecurities into adulthood. At the time I didn’t see them as such, but as my life evolved I knew something was amiss. I began working on myself. The work paid off.

I still work on myself. Practicing gratitude led to me forgiving my parents long after they were dead. But forgiveness came at the right time.

The damage was done early in my life, but I found the repair center. Find yours…

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