Tag Archives: #hope

Spirituality

Control Freaks

Have you ever known or worked with a control freak? Perhaps you are one. Just kidding. The people who try to control everything are the most uptight people to be around.

All of the future is an unknown. We don’t know what will happen in the next few minutes, the rest of today, or the rest of this year. We make plans yet we have to adapt when things don’t go as expected.

In Proverbs 3:5-6 it says, “Trust in The Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.” This means we should trust God even when we don’t understand what is going on. We can’t see everything but God can. He is already in our future.

When we are going through difficult periods, it’s hard to see past the end of our nose. Our faith is tested. That’s okay. God knows and understands, and He doesn’t change His feelings towards us when we doubt. Jesus reminded us that the faith of a mustard seed is enough to move mountains.

Stay focused and stay true to the One who is in control. He will never steer us wrong. And that is a promise…

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Spirituality

Stigmatized

Being stigmatized often causes people to be unfairly judged, stereotyped, excluded, or treated differently. Why do we do it, you might ask. It is my belief that people stigmatize others to avoid looking at themselves.

Have you ever made an embarrassing mistake? Most of us have said or done things we would like to erase from our memories. In 1981 I was arrested for driving while intoxicated and spent a night in jail. The drunk tank is no place I wanted to return to.

Even in 2026 seeking therapy is still stigmatized by some parts of society. Up until 2008 insurance companies paid partial benefits for therapy. It took federal law to rectify this.

When I’m speaking with inmates, I share my story of growing up in a dysfunctional family. Most of the men and women in prison can relate. The people who have been in prison often get stigmatized. Yet, I remind them that when they get out, they should walk out with their heads held high and their shoulders back. They have satisfied everything the State of Texas has required.

We aren’t limited by the worst decisions we made unless we allow them to limit us. Keep the people who throw your past in your face far away from you. Those aren’t your people.

Surround yourself with people who inspire you to be your best. They are your people…

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Spirituality

Competing Voices

We have two voices inside our heads. Both are talking to us all the time, competing for our attention. Let’s dive into this.

We talk to ourselves more than we talk to anyone else. Our minds are always working, even while we are asleep. This is one of the reasons we must be discerning about what we read, watch on TV, and who we listen to. The subconscious mind remembers all.

One of the voices is encouraging us, prompting and pushing us towards our purpose. The other voice is reminding us of everything we have ever screwed up. “Why should this time be any different,” the voice says. If you listen to and believe that voice, you will be talked out of trying something before you begin.

One of the voices is from God. He is rooting for us every millisecond of our lives. The discouraging voice is from the devil. He wants us to stay mired in mediocrity and frustration.

I encourage you to listen to the voice of encouragement. You might be risk averse because of something that happened in your past. Break free from this. You weren’t created to fail. You are here to thrive and to make a difference.

Embrace the unknown and live fully…

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Spirituality, Uncategorized

Run Away

Little children threaten to run away from home when they don’t get their way. It’s kinda funny when you think about it. The kid is five and he can’t drive. How far will those little legs get you?

When I was a child, my home life was one of stress, chaos and violence. My mind was in a constant state of “fight or flight.” I wanted to run away but was too scared to actually do it.

Confusion reigned in me. The television shows in those days were typically about family life. Seeing TV families and how they functioned together made me wonder why my family was so screwed up. I was naive, too, because I didn’t understand that the shows were scripted.

My choice as a young adult was to try to run away from myself. Drugs and alcohol numbed me from the pain I felt. But when I sobered up the life I was running from was still there. Einstein’s quote about insanity being doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results was my life.

Through psychotherapy I was able to jettison the doubts and insecurities I took into adulthood. It took work, but today I’m free of the need to run away from who I am and who God created me to be. There are still challenges in my life, but I face them rather than avoid them.

If you had a similar background, I encourage you to get professional help. Do the work. There is freedom on the other side of pain…

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Spirituality

Know Your Value

From my observations, there are quite a few insecure people out there. It’s displayed through arrogance, selfishness and narcissistic behavior. People aren’t born this way. So, what is the genesis of insecurity?

Perhaps it begins in childhood. Parents are a child’s first teacher. The parents might project their own insecurities on their children, making them afraid of experiencing life fully. This was my experience with my parents. And mine enforced their fears with violence. Not a good combination.

Self-worth comes from within. Inner confidence is shown when we see people quietly going about their work, not calling attention to themselves. Confident people make things happen. They don’t care who gets the credit.

We are working for an audience of one. God alone knows everything. We cannot hide from God. The remarkable thing is that God still loves and accepts us no matter how badly we screw up. Humans are not this way.

It took a lot of inner work for me to jettison my insecurities from childhood. When I did then I could see my value. You can, too. Face your inner demons and start to live meaningfully. It takes time, but it happens if you refuse to give up.

You have great value. Other people need to hear what you have to offer. Believe in yourself and get to work…

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Spirituality

False Alarm

How many times have you worried about something that turned out to be a waste of your time? Most chronic worriers can’t count that high. Worry is wasted energy, so let’s talk about it.

It is estimated that over 90% of the things people worry about never come to pass. Ninety percent! But this is more alarming: you have used up time worrying about something and you cannot get the time back.

We have a finite amount of time on this planet to accomplish our purpose. God alone knows our end date. He has given us exactly enough time to do His will through us. Here’s the remarkable part of this: God doesn’t force us to do anything. It’s up to us.

If worry is a challenge for you, I encourage you to work on eliminating it from your life. It begins with your attitude. Believe that you can control your thoughts and emotions, then flip the script when worry presents itself. You can do it if you believe you can.

Finally, remember this when worry creeps in: everything always seems to work out the way it’s supposed to…

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Spirituality

Ridiculous Ideas

When you’re a parent, you must be ready for some of the ridiculous ideas your children will propose. It is fascinating to see the world through the eyes of a child, to watch how their minds work.

Some of the most idiotic ideas are generated in Congress. In early September, The Thirty Two hour Work Week Act was introduced by Representative Mark Takano in the House, followed by Senator Bernie Sanders in the Senate. This act would reduce the federal standard work week to 32 hours from its present 40 hours. Now it is fair to note that neither of these men have ever worked in the private sector, only government jobs.

What’s wrong with a 32 hour work week? Nothing is wrong if you like chaos for employers followed by inflation for all of us. It’s doubtful the bills get out of committee, yet crazier things have happened.

People are starving for the truth. We want to know what is real, what we can hold onto. Longtime readers know where I’m going with this.

Scripture is true, right and beneficial for a fulfilling life. Want to get smarter? In The Book of James the author tells us to ask God for wisdom. He will give it in abundance, but only if we believe. Everything faith-related begins with belief. Give it a try…

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Spirituality

Fresh Approach

Do you approach life with confidence or trepidation? We were created by God and meant to live full, meaningful lives on this side of eternity. God and fear cannot coexist.

Life can be hard and it can be harsh. In some ways we are a bunch of imperfect, damaged people trying to live together in a sometimes chaotic world. It sounds like a recipe for disaster, right? But there is a solution.

When we were born we didn’t have fear, worry or hang ups. As little children we were fearless. Life knocked us around and some had their confidence shaken. Some of us had abusive parents who didn’t prepare us for life. But inside of us we wanted to grow. Even the most fearful people know this.

If you are still living with fear and want to break free, I encourage you to do the difficult inner work on yourself. You might have to revisit some painful parts of your life, but you will get through it. If someone hurt you they cannot hurt you again.

Do the work. Give yourself the freedom you deserve. Ask God to guide you through it. He will show up every time. This is a promise…

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Spirituality

Boxed Out

“Boxed out” usually means excluded, shut out, or prevented from participating. Is this how we treat God sometimes?

God has unlimited power. He can do anything and I mean anything. The problem lies with us, not Him. When we show unbelief we are limiting God’s participation in our lives.

There is an example of this in the New Testament. When Jesus went to his hometown the Bible says “he couldn’t do many miracles there.” The people still saw him as Joseph the carpenters son they grew up with. The Messiah was in their presence yet they missed it.

The truth is, Jesus could do miracles there among the people who knew him since childhood. But their lack of faith probably wasn’t a great motivator. “A prophet is never recognized among his own people,” Jesus said (paraphrased).

Believe. Just believe and then act like you believe. Jesus told us “when we pray we should act like we have already received what we prayed for.” (Paraphrased)

Put some emotion into your prayers. Believe and receive. And don’t box God out. He is interested in every aspect of your life…

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Spirituality

Great Expectations

Please don’t be confused by the title. This column is not about the Charles Dickens novel. When I was in middle school I was forced to read it. The book is known as a classic, but for me reading the book felt like child abuse!

Have you ever been disappointed? This is a rhetorical question because I know you have been. In this life we will experience unmet expectations. Although a situation didn’t turn out the way we wanted or hoped for, we don’t have to change course.

When we were kids we had dreams. Big dreams. We were going to set the world on fire. Then life came along and knocked us around. Some gave up. They threw in the towel on pursuing their dreams. It doesn’t have to be this way.

Life is imperfect. You can go after what you want. This life will give you all your desires if you refuse to accept defeat. Drifting through life and accepting whatever comes your way is not living fully. It’s merely existing.

Past setbacks and failures are where they belong, in the past. I encourage you to pursue the full life you desire, realizing that every expectation might not be fulfilled immediately. But keep going and set your goals high.

Dwell in possibility…

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