Spirituality

Rebellion

When I was a teenager, I grew my hair long. It was stylish back then, but the parents of that generation saw it as rebellious behavior. If you had long hair then you must be on “dope.”

Every generation tries to break free and establish their independence (even though they are still living at home). It’s a normal part of growing up. As a parent I didn’t like always being questioned by my kids, so I had to remind myself why they were doing it. Those reminders became a daily thing.

The ultimate rebel was Jesus. Not only did he disrupt the religious leaders of his day, he created something that has lasted for over 2,000 years. But Jesus taught peace and forgiveness, not overthrow of Rome. A lot of people missed his intentions because they wanted freedom from Roman rule.

Now that’s a true rebel, a rebel for good…

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Spirituality

Trusting The Unseen

In Proverbs it tells us to “Trust in the government with all our hearts.” No, it doesn’t say that. But many people are placing more trust in Washington DC and the politicians than they deserve.

When elections roll around I hear people say their favorite candidate (s) “have the experience necessary to lead us out of this mess.” The truth is, their experience is what got us into this mess. Stop falling for the sound bites and look at the substance if you can find any.

We are instructed through Scripture to trust God. He’s good. Always. We are cautioned to not even trust our own hearts. Our motives may be impure, but we cannot escape the searching eyes of the Spirit. He sees everything. And when we believe in Him, God works to change our character.

I encourage you to place more trust in the unseen and less on the fiery politicians. God remains in control, no matter how crazy the world may become…

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Spirituality

Disturbing the Peace

Disturbing the peace is a crime. In Texas it is a Class C misdemeanor you can be cited for if you make unreasonable noise in a public place. And along with a fine you look like an idiot.

Growing up in a chaotic, violent home, it wired my brain to adapt to craziness. It became “normal” in my mind. After working through the legacies of my childhood I was able to rewire my brain in a healthy way. Now I keep the crazies out. Peace reigns supreme.

It takes time and a lot of work to jettison the sins of the past. Unresolved trauma shows up in the form of triggers. Sometimes we know why things trigger us. For example, it sends me into orbit when someone lies to me. This is a carryover from childhood, but lying is never good.

If you grew up like me, I encourage you to do the work on yourself. The healthier you get, the more healthy people you will attract into your life. You will set boundaries to protect your peace and well being. And that’s a good thing…

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Spirituality

Decision Time

Where we are in life is the result of a series of decisions we made. We have goals and dreams for our lives that we set in motion to achieve. Our goals are like the destination on a road map. We figure out which roads to take to get us there. Wrong road? Try a different route.

No one sets out to get divorced, go to prison, or become homeless. Sometimes bad things happen. The legacy we are born into plays a part, but we still have a choice no matter what our circumstances are. We can decide to be better.

Victimhood is on the rise. But here’s my observation about victims: if you can walk and talk, you can think and do. No one is a victim of their circumstances.

If you are feeling stuck or bogged down in life, you must decide to change. You will get to where you want to be through hard work and discipline. But those are decisions only you can make.

The choice is yours. It’s time to decide…

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Spirituality

The Danger of Optimism

It is through the lens of optimism that I see the world. My thoughts default to what’s possible, not what is. Sometimes this is a dangerous way to see things.

My mind is hardwired to see the good in every situation. This includes people. Seeing the good in others can be a blind spot for me. They might be setting my home on fire but I still see the positives in them. Do you see what I’m talking about?

In today’s society we have a political divide that is getting wider. The optimist in me believes we can re-establish the middle ground where people discuss their differences but part as friends. No damage done. So far I have been disappointed, but I refuse to give up. Optimists can be stubborn, too. Another danger.

We see the thread of goodness that lives in the heart of man when tragedy strikes. In my most optimistic opinion, we don’t need to wait for all hell to break loose to show kindness and compassion.

We can begin today. And by today I mean right now…

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Spirituality

Habitually Late

Punctuality is a symbol of self worth and respect for others. Being habitually late is a weight that is easy to lose, though. Let me explain.

Arriving early sets the tone for the day. You aren’t rushed or behind. My old coaches would say “if you’re early you are on time. If you’re on time you’re late. And if you’re late, you run.” I hated to run so the habit of getting an early start was formed from avoidance!

People who regularly arrive late drive me crazy. The occasional tardiness is fine. Stuff happens and I understand. It’s the ones who can’t get somewhere on schedule if their life depended on it I’m talking about, because they usually aren’t just a couple minutes late. They can delay you an hour sometimes.

It’s easy to change this bad habit. You plan for it. That’s it. Be intentional with your time and effort. Have respect for others by being the one they can count on.

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Spirituality

Online Activities

Our phones are capable of keeping us entertained 24/7 if we allow them to. We can shop, make reservations for restaurants and airlines, and there are tons of games available.

Text and email are accessible through our phones, too. We have more power in our smartphones than NASA used to get men to the moon. But as remarkable as our phones are, I wonder how smart they are.

Playing Spades or Hearts online is fine but it isn’t the same as playing with real people. The social interaction we get playing together has too many benefits to list here. We are hardwired to be in community with others. Taking that away can leave you a shell of a person.

Our phones are great time savers. They are convenient but let’s not make them too convenient. Remember to take the time to show others that you care…

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Spirituality

Talk to Me

Don’t you love it when you have a conversation with someone who really understands you? It’s so natural that it feels effortless.

Everyone wants to be seen, heard and understood. That’s universal whether you are a world leader or a line worker at General Motors. But there is another conversation that needs to be addressed.

How are you talking to yourself? We are constantly in conversation inside our minds. Are you focusing on your good qualities or tearing yourself down? I instructed my children to focus on what you do right. If they ever want to be reminded of their mistakes, ask anyone. The world is taking inventory.

Sadly, most people aren’t pulling for you to succeed. That’s just how it is, even though I don’t understand why. Don’t help them out by beating yourself up. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and resolve to do better.

Make a mental note of what you say to yourself. Speak the truth, always. The better you are, the better people you attract into your life. Guaranteed!

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Spirituality

Conflict Resolution

Resolving conflicts is necessary for healthy relationships. You will have disagreements but they don’t have to shred the relationship. Successful conflict resolution begins with trust.

Divorce rates have come down some, yet still hover around 44%. It is estimated that 80% of the couples who stay together aren’t fulfilled in their marriages. Part of the issue is we don’t know how to resolve conflicts in a healthy way. This has generational implications.

We are taught how to argue by watching our parents. If one parent strong arms the other, we learn it’s “my way or the highway.” That’s not going to work in the long run because the counter party feels unimportant. Resentments build, and if they go unexpressed it turns to bitterness. Bitterness destroys you from the inside.

From my own observations around 80% of families are dysfunctional. It’s the same for one parent homes. Kids need structure to feel secure. If they aren’t getting it at home they will find it somewhere.

If dealing with conflict is a challenge for you, I encourage you to learn how to do it better by reading books and periodicals. Practice. Be willing to listen to the person you are in conflict with. Communicate how you feel.

This might make you uncomfortable, but staying comfortable never works. You can learn and grow, even through conflict…

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Spirituality, Uncategorized

Lifelines

Sometimes we need a lifeline. It could come in the form of helping someone out of a mess, or just showing up for someone after they experienced a devastating loss. We are here to help others.

It’s not weak to ask for help. It doesn’t make you any more flawed. It’s best to ask rather than let something fester and grow.

As you know, I write a lot about self work. The right psychotherapist can be the lifeline you need to live a fulfilling life. Internal damage, also known as trauma, doesn’t go away on its own. We have to work through it. This resets our brains in the right way. It’s work, but it’s worth it.

Is there anything bothering you on the inside? Has it been gnawing at you for quite a while? Take the brave first step. Reach for a lifeline…

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