Spirituality

The Danger of Optimism

It is through the lens of optimism that I see the world. My thoughts default to what’s possible, not what is. Sometimes this is a dangerous way to see things.

My mind is hardwired to see the good in every situation. This includes people. Seeing the good in others can be a blind spot for me. They might be setting my home on fire but I still see the positives in them. Do you see what I’m talking about?

In today’s society we have a political divide that is getting wider. The optimist in me believes we can re-establish the middle ground where people discuss their differences but part as friends. No damage done. So far I have been disappointed, but I refuse to give up. Optimists can be stubborn, too. Another danger.

We see the thread of goodness that lives in the heart of man when tragedy strikes. In my most optimistic opinion, we don’t need to wait for all hell to break loose to show kindness and compassion.

We can begin today. And by today I mean right now…

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Spirituality

Habitually Late

Punctuality is a symbol of self worth and respect for others. Being habitually late is a weight that is easy to lose, though. Let me explain.

Arriving early sets the tone for the day. You aren’t rushed or behind. My old coaches would say “if you’re early you are on time. If you’re on time you’re late. And if you’re late, you run.” I hated to run so the habit of getting an early start was formed from avoidance!

People who regularly arrive late drive me crazy. The occasional tardiness is fine. Stuff happens and I understand. It’s the ones who can’t get somewhere on schedule if their life depended on it I’m talking about, because they usually aren’t just a couple minutes late. They can delay you an hour sometimes.

It’s easy to change this bad habit. You plan for it. That’s it. Be intentional with your time and effort. Have respect for others by being the one they can count on.

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Spirituality

Online Activities

Our phones are capable of keeping us entertained 24/7 if we allow them to. We can shop, make reservations for restaurants and airlines, and there are tons of games available.

Text and email are accessible through our phones, too. We have more power in our smartphones than NASA used to get men to the moon. But as remarkable as our phones are, I wonder how smart they are.

Playing Spades or Hearts online is fine but it isn’t the same as playing with real people. The social interaction we get playing together has too many benefits to list here. We are hardwired to be in community with others. Taking that away can leave you a shell of a person.

Our phones are great time savers. They are convenient but let’s not make them too convenient. Remember to take the time to show others that you care…

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Spirituality

Talk to Me

Don’t you love it when you have a conversation with someone who really understands you? It’s so natural that it feels effortless.

Everyone wants to be seen, heard and understood. That’s universal whether you are a world leader or a line worker at General Motors. But there is another conversation that needs to be addressed.

How are you talking to yourself? We are constantly in conversation inside our minds. Are you focusing on your good qualities or tearing yourself down? I instructed my children to focus on what you do right. If they ever want to be reminded of their mistakes, ask anyone. The world is taking inventory.

Sadly, most people aren’t pulling for you to succeed. That’s just how it is, even though I don’t understand why. Don’t help them out by beating yourself up. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and resolve to do better.

Make a mental note of what you say to yourself. Speak the truth, always. The better you are, the better people you attract into your life. Guaranteed!

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Spirituality

Conflict Resolution

Resolving conflicts is necessary for healthy relationships. You will have disagreements but they don’t have to shred the relationship. Successful conflict resolution begins with trust.

Divorce rates have come down some, yet still hover around 44%. It is estimated that 80% of the couples who stay together aren’t fulfilled in their marriages. Part of the issue is we don’t know how to resolve conflicts in a healthy way. This has generational implications.

We are taught how to argue by watching our parents. If one parent strong arms the other, we learn it’s “my way or the highway.” That’s not going to work in the long run because the counter party feels unimportant. Resentments build, and if they go unexpressed it turns to bitterness. Bitterness destroys you from the inside.

From my own observations around 80% of families are dysfunctional. It’s the same for one parent homes. Kids need structure to feel secure. If they aren’t getting it at home they will find it somewhere.

If dealing with conflict is a challenge for you, I encourage you to learn how to do it better by reading books and periodicals. Practice. Be willing to listen to the person you are in conflict with. Communicate how you feel.

This might make you uncomfortable, but staying comfortable never works. You can learn and grow, even through conflict…

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Spirituality, Uncategorized

Lifelines

Sometimes we need a lifeline. It could come in the form of helping someone out of a mess, or just showing up for someone after they experienced a devastating loss. We are here to help others.

It’s not weak to ask for help. It doesn’t make you any more flawed. It’s best to ask rather than let something fester and grow.

As you know, I write a lot about self work. The right psychotherapist can be the lifeline you need to live a fulfilling life. Internal damage, also known as trauma, doesn’t go away on its own. We have to work through it. This resets our brains in the right way. It’s work, but it’s worth it.

Is there anything bothering you on the inside? Has it been gnawing at you for quite a while? Take the brave first step. Reach for a lifeline…

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Spirituality

As If

Some people like to pontificate on subjects they know very little or nothing about. They use big, important sounding words that, in their minds, puts them above the rest of us. It’s as if they want to be seen as more important than they believe they are.

Social media has given the world a voice. This platform has brought out some crazies. Fake stories and memes draw people in. The masses believe what they want to believe. It doesn’t matter if it’s factually true or not. If they believe it then it must be dictum.

In our world, opinions are trying to replace facts. Eight billion people have 8 billion opinions, all different. And it isn’t a compliment to be known as opinionated.

God gave us our brains, the most remarkable supercomputer on the planet. It’s a good idea to put it to use. Read scientific pieces. Think. Have conversations with others and listen. And keep your beliefs in a constant state of thought. Test them.

We could create a better, more open-minded society by learning to listen. When you rearrange the letters in the word “listen,” you spell silent. I don’t believe this is coincidental, but that’s my opinion…

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Spirituality

Shields Up

Anyone who has watched Star Trek is familiar with the command, “Shields Up.” It means the spaceship is about to be attacked. Shields are protective mechanisms.

Have you heard someone say you should follow your heart? Some people believe this is in the Bible. It’s not. In fact, Scripture tells us to guard our hearts. It also tells us the heart is deceptive. It might not be the best path to lead us.

The heart is the core of our emotions. Many times it is our motivation. We can have pure motives but be misguided because we are living with our hearts inside our heads.

I’m not suggesting we should live like robots. Sometimes you have to take a chance. The greatest writing moves us at the heart level. If it didn’t, Hollywood would have gone bankrupt a long time ago.

My encouragement to you is to live life judiciously. Question your motives. If you are experiencing a temporary feeling, it will pass. Keep your shields engaged in those moments. But if it doesn’t fade away, move forward.

Like I said, sometimes you gotta take a chance…

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Spirituality

The Devil Inside

There is a battle going on. We can’t see it, but that doesn’t make it less real. One side is fighting to win you over to their side while the warriors on the side of good are fighting to protect you.

We have a part to play in the fight. We can lessen the evil intentions through prayer. Or we can choose to give into temptation. It’s up to us. God gave us a way through, but we have to believe and execute.

The Apostle Paul wrote about his own struggles with temptation. In Romans 7:18, Paul wrote “For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.” As great as Paul was, he was human.

It starts with the desires of your heart. There are temptations all around us. The devil has slowly crept deeper and deeper into culture. He has tried to make the abnormal seem normal. We need good people to take a stand.

The battle will rage on inside of us and all around us until we reach eternity. Take a stand. Do what’s right. The world needs strong men and women…

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Spirituality

Pray For Peace and Resolution

The United States and Israel have launched an attack on strategic targets in Iran. From early indications, it is a series of surgical strikes against targets where Iran’s leaders are suspected to be. I’m hopeful.

The Iranian people are some of the kindest you could ever meet. The society is well educated. They have lived under a terrorist regime for 47 years. All in the name of religion.

It is my hope that this ends quickly and that it is a successful operation. There is great risk involved in these missions. With every great risk comes the potential for great rewards. The Iranians, our military, the Israeli military and our leaders are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope they are in yours, too. They need them…

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