Spirituality, Uncategorized

The Mystery of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is hard. People are carrying hurts and pain from the past that no one sees. But when we look deeper, we can see. Let’s look further into this.

Unresolved conflicts can damage us. Lack of forgiveness can manifest into resentment and resentment leads to bitterness. This is how we see the pain buried in others. Some people become so eaten up with hatred that they are very difficult to be around.

On the cross, Jesus asked God to “forgive them, for they know not what they are doing.” Jesus had been beaten, tortured, ridiculed and spat upon, but he wants God to forgive the ones who were persecuting him. What an incredible act of forgiveness.

The people who hurt you don’t deserve forgiveness. So why should I forgive them, you may wonder. This is the mystery: forgiveness is for you, not the offender. By forgiving those who harmed you, it frees you from the forces that can destroy you from within. You are free.

True forgiveness takes time. It cannot be forced or rushed. Practicing gratitude will lead to forgiveness and many more benefits. But you gotta do the work.

Try it. Set yourself free…

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Spirituality

The Real McCoy

When someone or something is described as “the real McCoy,” it means the person or the object is genuine. No cheap fakes or counterfeits allowed.

No one knows where the saying comes from. There are three possibilities cited from history. It’s interesting because the saying has been used for decades.

Could you be described this way? If the answer is yes, then you are the real deal. Honesty and integrity are valuable. They are worth more than gold. Being a man or woman who keeps their word seems to be getting rarer and rarer. But we notice when one does.

We just had an election in the United States. Politicians continue stretching the truth to get elected. They spew so much bullshit it’s impossible to keep up with all of it. As I have written before, politicians are not role models.

Speaking the truth is easy. When someone lies they have to remember the lies they told. If you tell the truth you don’t have to concern yourself with what you told others. Liars don’t have the same luxury.

Elections come and go. The politicians seem to hang around like a chronic disease. Many of them should strive to be known as the real McCoy…

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Uncategorized, Spirituality

I Am Not Your Enemy

Election Day is tomorrow, November 3rd. Much of the country will be on edge, waiting to see if their candidate won or lost. Not me. Life will go on no matter who gets elected.

There is political divide in the United States. It seems like it gets worse every year. There are families I know of that cannot discuss politics together. This bothers me. We should be able to have healthy debates about what we believe and why we believe it. Not engaging in dialogue creates more separation.

For as long as I have lived people have argued about politics. And sports. And religion. Most of the discussions were harmless. People could disagree and then go have a drink together. Relationships were maintained. Sometimes they were strengthened.

The ones that bug me the most are the people who throw insults at others because they vote one way or another. They call people names and insult their intelligence. To me, that’s just weak. If all you have are insults and name calling, you have nothing.

We will survive the elections. We will probably thrive. Find something worthwhile to focus your energy on. Leave the bickering to the weak minded…

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Spirituality

The Discomfort of Stillness

Quiet and stillness used to make me uncomfortable. Part of it was me. My energy level has been high all my life and I have to do something with it. Another part was that I felt like if I wasn’t busy, I wasn’t accomplishing anything.

When we get still and dive into our thoughts, we are doing something. Think of it as exercise for our brains. The more we think and consider things from different angles, the more our worldview expands. Seeing situations from a 360 degree perspective opens our minds.

If you have trouble with the quiet and getting still, there is good news! You can learn how. I followed the advice of my psychotherapist when he said to “sit with it.” Sit with the discomfort? “But I don’t want to sit with it,” I said. He said “I know you don’t. Sit with it anyway.” I trust him so I sat with it. Over time, I learned to love the beauty of stillness.

There are other benefits to stillness. I have always been a good listener, but the quiet has deepened my listening. Now I listen with my heart along with my mind. We connect with each other through our minds and our hearts.

Life is busy. Very busy. I encourage you to carve out some time in your day to get quiet. No background noise. Just stillness. The more you practice it, the easier it will become…

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Spirituality

Fakes

It’s hard to find real people nowadays. Even their pictures are filtered. It’s a minefield getting through the BS to find the true person inside.

There are countless fake profiles on Facebook, Instagram and X. Recently a client of mine was approached by a fake “friend” who tried to entice him into a crypto scam. Another friend of mine lost over $300,000 in a similar scam. How do the scammers live with themselves?

People are guarded, afraid to show you who they really are. Their social media accounts make it appear that they are living perfect lives. We know this isn’t true. And don’t mistake what I’m saying. I’m genuinely happy for the good times in their lives.

One thing I have found to be true is, if you enter conversations in an open, unguarded way, your counter party will be open as well. This is where connection happens. No more surface conversations. Just real talk.

God intended us to be in relationship with others. He said it “isn’t good for man to be alone.” We need each other.

Bring the real you to the table. Not the version of yourself you believe others want. Be yourself…

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Spirituality

Waging Wars

We can be our own worst enemies. We do things we know aren’t good for us, but we do them anyway. It’s like we are waging war on ourselves.

Good thoughts lead to good outcomes. There are consequences attached to every decision we make. Sometimes people think of consequences in a negative way. They can be but don’t have to be.

Have you ever known an alcoholic? They do completely irrational things that a sane person wouldn’t think of. Some of the brightest people I know are addicts who got into and stayed in a recovery program. They decided to stop the fight with themselves. Their sobriety became the victory they needed.

There are two voices competing for our attention all the time. One voice is encouraging us, prompting us in the right way. The other voice is talking down to us, reminding us of every bad thing we have ever done. Listen to the voice from the light. Filter the other voice out. Both voices are present every day. It’s up to you to decide which voice to listen to.

The battle within us will be going on for the rest of our lives. You can win it if you’re willing to fight.

Be a fighter. Ask God to help you when you feel like you can’t go on. He will show up, every single time…

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Spirituality

Dangerous Games

Some people like to play games. They draw you in, build trust, and then the game is over. Toying with people’s emotions is a dangerous game.

This very thing has happened to me in the past. I saw it happen to a friend of mine recently. There are people who are predators. They believe that they are conquerors in this life. The only thing they are conquering is themselves. They may think they won, but they have done considerable damage to their psyche.

You cannot do harm to others and think there are no consequences. Selfish people only think about themselves. It’s all about them.

Stay true to yourself. If you have been the prey of a narcissist, don’t stop believing there are good people in this world. Projecting past experiences on others is not right. You gotta be willing to take another chance.

There will always be bad people who are only out for themselves. Look for the good. You will usually find what you’re looking for…

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Spirituality, Uncategorized

Wasted Energy

Why do people care so much about who people vote for? This is a personal choice and privilege. People have their reasons to support a candidate whether I agree with them or not. It’s not my business, nor is it yours.

The political season has gone from several months to every day. You go to a concert, it’s there. A talented artist believes their opinion is worth sharing with the audience. What they forget about is that half the audience may support the other side. Without fans the artists don’t have shit.

We have only so much time on this side of eternity. Only God knows our checkout date. But He has given us exactly enough time to accomplish what He created us for. Why don’t we focus our energy on the things that will get us where we are supposed to go? Fighting over a politician, any politician, is wasted energy.

Get outside. Enjoy your family. Take in everything around you. Savor this beautiful life. And when you feel the urge to lash out at someone over their politics, ask yourself why.

Go make your mark on this era you are living in. It won’t last forever, but the legacy you create will…

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Spirituality

Paralysis

Fear can stop you in your tracks. It’s okay to be nervous, scared even. Trying something new can make us feel uneasy. But contrary to popular belief, there is more than one way to conquer fear.

Not all fears are bad. Our instincts kick in to alert us to danger. During those times I believe it is the Spirit speaking to us. You know what I’m talking about because it’s unmistakable. Listen when those times arise.

Have you ever been triggered by something? Emotional triggers are situations, words, or experiences that provoke a strong emotional reaction, sometimes far greater than the situation itself would seem to justify. Triggers can evoke fearful thoughts that, in your mind, are very real. Rational thought usually won’t override them.

To conquer fear you must face it. If your fears are caused by irrational triggers, then you may need the help of a psychotherapist. Something deeper is at work in you which must be pulled out by the roots.

What I’m talking about isn’t fun. Yet to live fully we must jettison whatever might be stopping us. There is life on the other side of fear. You are free…

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Spirituality

Look What I’ve Done

When we were little children, we were on a constant learning curve. Learned to walk and talk? Yay! Look at me!

As adults we get recognized for our accomplishments in our careers. We build our lives around family, friends, our work and, hopefully, our God. For some, those aren’t enough to fill the hole in their hearts. The damage from forgotten dreams can lead to bad decisions. Then it becomes, “look what I’ve done.”

Some people continue to devolve and make dumpster fires of their lives. Rock bottom comes and it’s in this moment they might find themselves. The good news is, redemption is always possible with God. He never turns his back on us, no matter what we have done.

There are countless stories of people who have turned their lives around. If you feel like you have made a mess in your life that you can’t correct, find inspiration from the stories of those who have come before you. Read Scripture.

There is always hope. When you are flat on your back, there’s only one way to look. Up…

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