Spirituality

Stigmatized

Being stigmatized often causes people to be unfairly judged, stereotyped, excluded, or treated differently. Why do we do it, you might ask. It is my belief that people stigmatize others to avoid looking at themselves.

Have you ever made an embarrassing mistake? Most of us have said or done things we would like to erase from our memories. In 1981 I was arrested for driving while intoxicated and spent a night in jail. The drunk tank is no place I wanted to return to.

Even in 2026 seeking therapy is still stigmatized by some parts of society. Up until 2008 insurance companies paid partial benefits for therapy. It took federal law to rectify this.

When I’m speaking with inmates, I share my story of growing up in a dysfunctional family. Most of the men and women in prison can relate. The people who have been in prison often get stigmatized. Yet, I remind them that when they get out, they should walk out with their heads held high and their shoulders back. They have satisfied everything the State of Texas has required.

We aren’t limited by the worst decisions we made unless we allow them to limit us. Keep the people who throw your past in your face far away from you. Those aren’t your people.

Surround yourself with people who inspire you to be your best. They are your people…

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Spirituality

Competing Voices

We have two voices inside our heads. Both are talking to us all the time, competing for our attention. Let’s dive into this.

We talk to ourselves more than we talk to anyone else. Our minds are always working, even while we are asleep. This is one of the reasons we must be discerning about what we read, watch on TV, and who we listen to. The subconscious mind remembers all.

One of the voices is encouraging us, prompting and pushing us towards our purpose. The other voice is reminding us of everything we have ever screwed up. “Why should this time be any different,” the voice says. If you listen to and believe that voice, you will be talked out of trying something before you begin.

One of the voices is from God. He is rooting for us every millisecond of our lives. The discouraging voice is from the devil. He wants us to stay mired in mediocrity and frustration.

I encourage you to listen to the voice of encouragement. You might be risk averse because of something that happened in your past. Break free from this. You weren’t created to fail. You are here to thrive and to make a difference.

Embrace the unknown and live fully…

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Spirituality

Speaking My Truth

There’s a popular trend present in today’s society where people say they are “speaking their truth.” This is fine. But what if the truth they are speaking is based on false information or just an outright lie?

A survey in Brazil found that 7% of the population believes the earth is flat. That represents almost 12 million adults. Although there is an overwhelming amount of evidence supporting the earth is round, these people don’t care.

When we dive deeper into why people believe lies, much of it is caused by mistrust in government. This certainly makes sense. In the United States our politicians have shown a remarkable ability to mishandle any societal issue they stick their noses into. And they have no consequences for their failures.

There is only one reliable truth available. It’s found in Scripture. Scripture is the voice of God and cannot mislead us. It is up to us to follow it or not. God gives us free will. We get to choose.

And unlike the world the politicians live in, whether we follow Scripture or not has consequences. Stay immersed in the truth…

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Spirituality

Facts and Figures

When I was in college I took statistics. The class was challenging. We started the semester with 36 students and by the end we were down to 14 left. Unlike algebra, statistics has come in handy all my life.

One thing I learned is that statistics can be misleading when someone wants to make a point. Using a short time frame to illustrate a case isn’t statistically significant. Having taken the course and learned, it allows me to question data logically.

Some of the most egregious examples are in politics. Some politicians will get their sound bites through misleading statistics. Guess what? Pharmaceutical companies do, too.

It’s a good idea to question everything. By everything I mean the areas that are important to you. Your health is job one. So are your social interactions. Remember the coronavirus? Isolation was unnecessary and damaging. Fortunately I refused to alter my lifestyle and came through just fine.

When something doesn’t sound right, look further into it. Prioritize making your life fulfilling. You aren’t required to be a statistician to accomplish this. Just slow down and think…

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Spirituality, Uncategorized

Run Away

Little children threaten to run away from home when they don’t get their way. It’s kinda funny when you think about it. The kid is five and he can’t drive. How far will those little legs get you?

When I was a child, my home life was one of stress, chaos and violence. My mind was in a constant state of “fight or flight.” I wanted to run away but was too scared to actually do it.

Confusion reigned in me. The television shows in those days were typically about family life. Seeing TV families and how they functioned together made me wonder why my family was so screwed up. I was naive, too, because I didn’t understand that the shows were scripted.

My choice as a young adult was to try to run away from myself. Drugs and alcohol numbed me from the pain I felt. But when I sobered up the life I was running from was still there. Einstein’s quote about insanity being doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results was my life.

Through psychotherapy I was able to jettison the doubts and insecurities I took into adulthood. It took work, but today I’m free of the need to run away from who I am and who God created me to be. There are still challenges in my life, but I face them rather than avoid them.

If you had a similar background, I encourage you to get professional help. Do the work. There is freedom on the other side of pain…

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Spirituality, Uncategorized

Experiential Knowledge

Education is important. No sane person would say differently. But being educated is vastly different from being proficient.

When Horace Mann created the first education curriculum in the United States, he focused on teaching the head, the heart and the hands. In other words, teach the students intellect, emotion and application. Today teachers are forced to teach to the test without true consideration of whether the students learned anything or not.

This isn’t the teachers fault. It’s not the administrators fault, either. To qualify for federal funding schools must show that their students are passing standardized tests.

Some schools have done things in a unique manner. They give students the opportunity to learn a trade. This is great because not every student will go to college. But they need to be able to make a living. Knowing a trade accomplishes this.

I have great respect for educators. People teach because they want to make a difference in the lives of their students. They aren’t in it for fame or fortune.

Experience is a wonderful teacher. And where would we be without plumbers and electricians? We would be left to our own devices. Not a good idea…

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Spirituality

Make Eye Contact

When you speak with someone, do you maintain eye contact? You should. When you look someone in the eye you are showing them respect as well as other subtle signs.

We need to connect with other people. Connection is deeper and more intimate than merely having casual conversations. Surface level conversations lose me quickly.

There have been times I’ve been at events or parties where I meet someone and we begin a conversation. Then I’ll notice my counter party is looking over my shoulder rather than looking at me. It’s obvious and it’s rude. It happens a lot in Hollywood. The celebrities I have met who have depth and substance have typically moved away from Tinsel Town.

You listen better when you focus on who you are with. The other person feels respected and you make them feel important. The truth is, you should limit your inner sphere to the people who are important to you.

When speaking with toddlers, squat down to their level. Look them in the eye, too. You are teaching them a skill they can take forward in life. It’s subtle, but important.

We will get along better in this world when we learn to communicate better. It begins with eye contact…

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Spirituality

Know Your Value

From my observations, there are quite a few insecure people out there. It’s displayed through arrogance, selfishness and narcissistic behavior. People aren’t born this way. So, what is the genesis of insecurity?

Perhaps it begins in childhood. Parents are a child’s first teacher. The parents might project their own insecurities on their children, making them afraid of experiencing life fully. This was my experience with my parents. And mine enforced their fears with violence. Not a good combination.

Self-worth comes from within. Inner confidence is shown when we see people quietly going about their work, not calling attention to themselves. Confident people make things happen. They don’t care who gets the credit.

We are working for an audience of one. God alone knows everything. We cannot hide from God. The remarkable thing is that God still loves and accepts us no matter how badly we screw up. Humans are not this way.

It took a lot of inner work for me to jettison my insecurities from childhood. When I did then I could see my value. You can, too. Face your inner demons and start to live meaningfully. It takes time, but it happens if you refuse to give up.

You have great value. Other people need to hear what you have to offer. Believe in yourself and get to work…

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Spirituality

False Alarm

How many times have you worried about something that turned out to be a waste of your time? Most chronic worriers can’t count that high. Worry is wasted energy, so let’s talk about it.

It is estimated that over 90% of the things people worry about never come to pass. Ninety percent! But this is more alarming: you have used up time worrying about something and you cannot get the time back.

We have a finite amount of time on this planet to accomplish our purpose. God alone knows our end date. He has given us exactly enough time to do His will through us. Here’s the remarkable part of this: God doesn’t force us to do anything. It’s up to us.

If worry is a challenge for you, I encourage you to work on eliminating it from your life. It begins with your attitude. Believe that you can control your thoughts and emotions, then flip the script when worry presents itself. You can do it if you believe you can.

Finally, remember this when worry creeps in: everything always seems to work out the way it’s supposed to…

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Spirituality

Creating a Vision

It’s political season, in case you haven’t noticed. My phone is blown up every day by someone asking for money to help fund their campaign. I have never given a politician any money, and I’m not going to start now.

How do you see yourself? All of us have a vision for our lives. Some are stronger than others. Sometimes the future seems cloudy and uncertain. It’s during these periods we must hold on tightly to the vision we have for our future.

We are progressing towards something. Some people just want to make it to the weekend. Others allow weekends to go unnoticed because they are building their vision into reality.

When you find your purpose for being here, you feel more alive than you ever have. You are energized. Every thought is consumed by something meaningful.

Create a vision for your life. Commit to it. Hold it in your heart. Your circumstances may change, but your vision doesn’t have to…

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