Tag Archives: #relationships

#inspiration, #spirituality

Safety

I’m fortunate. God has provided me with a nice home in a safe neighborhood. I recognize that not everyone is as fortunate, and I wish they were.

People seek safety and security in their lives. If you are part of a healthy family , you may freely express yourself without judgment, only acceptance and guidance. Having grown up in a dysfunctional family where expressing my feelings would reign judgment and ridicule on me, I kept quiet most of the time. I felt alone and misunderstood, even full of shame for having certain feelings like anger.

When I became a father, I made a conscious decision to break the chain of dysfunction. I used to tell my kids that they could say anything they wanted to me. I was paying attention to how they said it. I guess it worked because we have a solid relationship with open communication today.

Familial maladies are often multi-generational. You can be the catalyst to change the course of your family’s history.

Be willing…

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#inspiration, #spirituality

Daily Stuff to Do

Since you are reading this, it’s safe to assume that you woke up this morning! And if you are like most people, you are going to work, followed by some exercise, happy hour, or just relaxing. Much of life is routine.

But there’s more. Every day is an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others. Be proactive. Reach out. Make a phone call or send a card. Do something to lift others.

People will always remember how you made them feel. Impacting others in the right way is worth more than material wealth or possessions.

Do something. Do something today. Be a difference maker…

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#inspiration

Processed

You hear a lot about how bad processed foods are for us, and they are. Our bodies aren’t meant to handle unnatural elements.

In today’s post, I want to talk about processing our emotions. Our brains can handle a lot, yet sometimes the mind gets wired in an unhealthy manner. But there’s good news! What was done can be undone, if we are willing to do the work.

Stuffing down our emotions like anger can destroy us. Righteous anger is okay, but it must be channeled correctly. Use it as fuel to right some of the wrongs in our world. Then anger comes out in the right way.

If you have been hurt by another person, I’m truly sorry. People do horrible things to others and damage the innocent. But I encourage you to process your emotions in a healthy way. You might need the guidance of a psychotherapist to work through it. But you can get through it and live fully.

Start today. In fact, start now…

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#inspiration, #spirituality

Damage Done

Have you ever said something you knew was hurtful, and then immediately regretted saying it? I’m guilty of that. Most of us probably have done it as well.

The damage was done, so don’t gloss over it, make excuses or deny it. Apologize. Immediately. The person you hurt might still be reeling from what was said, but if the apology was sincere they will know. And hopefully they will forgive and not try to “one up” by firing back at us.

Think before speaking. If what we are about to say is hurtful, let’s ask ourselves why we are saying it in the first place. Perhaps we are hurting from something and we want someone to feel our pain. It might be better to talk it through with a trusted friend.

What we say can never be taken back. Speak kindly or don’t speak at all…

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#inspiration

Pizza

Everyone loves pizza! A pizza can come with a variety of toppings, or it can be just plain cheese. We all have our favorite pizza.

Just like pizza, people come in all varieties. Some people are positive while others are pessimistic. Some are in shape while others have not seen the inside of a gym in decades.

Unlike pizza, people are thinking and feeling beings. We have different goals, dreams and desires. We have experienced different pains and struggles along the way. But as different as we seem, we are more alike than we might consider.

Take the time to get to know your fellow man. Maybe go out for a pizza together!

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#inspiration, #spirituality

I Might Be Wrong

I might be wrong. Those four, simple words can change the course of a conversation in an instant. They are simple words, so why are they so hard to say?

Pride gets in the way, it blinds us from the truth. It’s not a weakness to be wrong. In fact, studies have shown that we are wrong way more than we are right.

A developed, open mind adapts when given a reason to. Closed minds are closed. The self-righteous ones must be right every time. They see being wrong as a threat. It’s not a threat.

We need more conversations in our society. Open conversations where we give our counter party margin to express themselves. We can learn from each other when we are willing to listen openly.

Try using the word “consider” in your conversations. Guarded people lower their guard and open themselves up when you use that word.

It’s a great word to consider…

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#inspiration, #spirituality

Including Others

Remember when you were a kid and you got picked to be on a team? If we were playing basketball, I got picked last or not at all. I was horrible at basketball.

Everyone wants to belong, to be a part of something bigger than themselves. Kids join gangs because they think they’ve found their people. Their family lives are a mess or nonexistent. Adults join car clubs and country clubs. They belong to a unique, sometimes exclusive group.

We should always treat others with kindness and respect. They might not belong to something we do, but that doesn’t make them less important.

Our identity is found in who we are, not what groups we belong to…

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#inspiration, #spirituality

Hidden

When I was a kid, there was a popular television show called “Candid Camera.” Goofy pranks were played on unsuspecting people and their reactions were recorded by a hidden camera. The show was hilarious.

People hide their inner pain. We show the world that we have it all together. But the truth is, many people are barely holding on. For some, all they have left is hope.

Words can heal or they can hurt. Whatever is going on inside a person’s head and heart is reflected in what they say or how they act. Hurt people hurt other people. Healthy people heal others.

Our world is struggling. It’s expensive to live. Mental health was shredded from isolation during the pandemic. Masking inner pain with fake smiles doesn’t heal the wounds.

Let your guard down with others. Allow them to see you for who you are. And let them show you who they really are, not who they want us to think they are.

Be kind. Always…

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#inspiration, #spirituality

Painful Experiences

Over the past four days I have been speaking in Texas prisons, both men and women’s. My subject matter is my own life story of physical and emotional abuse, and how I healed from my painful past. My story is relatable to many of the prisoners.

The inmates openly shared some of their life stories. I must tell you, most of them are not pretty. Some of the things that people do to other people are pathetic.

There is a lot of pain in this world we inhabit. People are doing everything they can to hold it together. So here’s a reminder: be kind to everyone. We don’t know what lies beneath the surface…

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#inspiration, #spirituality

Love Your Neighbor

Jesus told us to “love our neighbor as we love ourselves.” Yet you can’t truly love people you don’t know. You can show compassion, though.

Two months before her death, Rachel Joy Scott wrote a paper titled, “My Ethics: My Codes of Life.” In her piece she wrote, “Compassion is the greatest form of love humans have to offer. I have this theory that if one person would go out of their way to show compassion, it would start a chain reaction of the same. You never know how far a little kindness can go.” Showing compassion to our fellow man is demonstrating our concern for their sufferings. We can show we care about what happens to others.

In addition to showing compassion for others, let’s be kind to ourselves. Hold yourself accountable, but don’t beat yourself up over past mistakes. After all, you are a perfectly imperfect human…

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