For over 20 years, Jennifer Styers has been a beacon of light in the mysterious world of relationships. She is the CEO and Founder of LoveJenn.com. Jennifer created her own unique App, Lovey AI, which combines science and technology to create matches ideally suited for you, versus endless, pointless swiping. During our conversation, we discuss setting boundaries, getting rid of unhealthy habits that lead to unfulfilling relationships, and much much more! Take a moment to watch…
Tag Archives: #relationships
Affordability
It’s expensive to live! Yes, the CPI report shows that inflation is slowing, but the cost of going to the grocery store is not coming down. FYI, the inflation report omits the rise in food and energy because they are too “volatile.”
Here are some facts: the cost of food rose 2.2% while it costs 4.1% more to go out to eat. Medical care was up 3.3%. Shelter rose 5.1% and so on and so on. Most paychecks aren’t keeping up. This has led to 52% of families putting their groceries on credit cards. It is not sustainable.
I get it that today’s blog isn’t very uplifting. The purpose is to remind you to show patience and kindness to others. People are more stressed than ever. You might not be able to feed everyone yourself, but extending a smile is free. People need it…
Leave ‘em Behind
People come and go in your life. Sometimes they are around for a short time, while solid friends are there for life.
Growth requires change. When we outgrow people, it might be time to let them go. We should always treat others with dignity and respect. Yet some people are determined to remain right where they are. You can’t help them or change them.
Remember, if you aren’t growing, you’re dying. I plan to live a long time. Join me…
Transactional vs. Relational
Oftentimes life is a series of transactions. When you buy something at the store, you might exchange pleasantries with the person checking you out, but you don’t form an ongoing relationship with them.
Is this how we treat God? We want something so we ask God for it. After all, the Bible tells us to ask. Prayers answered. Deal done. On to the next transaction.
We are God’s children. We shouldn’t treat Him like we are ungrateful teenagers. We can’t manipulate God, nor should we try to. Teens are good at getting their way because parents don’t know all the facts. God knows everything, literally everything.
Let’s take the steps to enter into a meaningful relationship with God. He certainly wants one…
Decency
A bit of decency dies off with every generation. The older generation knows how to tell us off without insulting us. It’s almost an art form in how they do it. The younger generation shows their lack of intelligence by using profanity and vulgarity. Of course I’m generalizing, but I’m telling the truth.
The art of listening is something everyone should learn. Listening is active. It’s much more challenging than simply hearing someone. Active listening requires thought, and it can be exhausting. But when you listen and engage, your conversations become more meaningful. You learn.
I encourage you to practice listening to others. Remember the old Chinese Proverb: Seek first to understand before trying to be understood…
Divorce
The divorce rate for first marriages is around 44%. The percentage goes up from there for second and third marriages. Why are so many couples getting divorced when things start off so well?
There are many reasons ranging from infidelity to finances. And let’s face it, living with someone else can be stressful. But the number one reason couples divorce is lack of commitment. Their commitment might seem strong at first, but it starts to dissolve when the stresses of life kick in. The way someone pictures their spouse goes from partner to adversary.
With statistics like these, it makes you wonder if it’s possible for marriages to survive and thrive. There is hope. Couples who pray together regularly have a divorce rate of about 2%. You read that correctly. Couples who open their hearts and pray together not only defy the odds, they crush them.
Biblical teachings of love, forgiveness and mercy are parts of prayer. I enjoy gambling and sometimes bet on a long shot, but I like the odds in this case…
Advantage
Have you ever been taken advantage of? Of course you have. People have agendas to fulfill and some of them are happy to use any means necessary to make them happen.
Politicians take advantage of the population. “Vote for me” and all your problems will go away, they say. In our rational minds we know this isn’t true. But the politicians aren’t appealing to our sense of reason. They are hitting our emotional hot buttons. We get disappointed and disillusioned when they don’t come through. There’s a reason Congress has an approval rating of only 13%.
I encourage you to be pure in your motives. If you need help, ask. Don’t take advantage of others. Living life with integrity will bring you everything you need in life…
Plus One
I’m invited to a wedding in October. The young man getting married is someone I’ve known for about 25 years. I refer to him as “my other son I didn’t have to send to college!” The invitation is to me plus one.
I have no plus one, and I don’t feel pressured to go find one in the interim. There is no dishonor in being single. Over the course of my life, I have traveled to resorts, seen movies, and I have gone to dinner by myself. Making conversation comes naturally for me, but solitude has a different kind of peace attached to it.
If you have insecurities about being single, I encourage you to work on yourself to learn why. Facing your inner challenges can be scary, but there is freedom on the other side. The obstacle will remain until you decide to remove it.
The times you are single, in a committed relationship, or you are married have a season in your life. Make the most of them. Most importantly, never try to force outcomes in life. Just keep working on what you want from life. Then, you will be putting yourself in a position to succeed…
You Said It!
A man was asked if he minded that his wife always got the last word. The man replied, “No. I’m just glad when she gets to it.”
The average person speaks about 16,000 words per day. I’m more interested in the quality of our words than the quantity. Our tongues can be sharper than a surgeon’s scalpel. They can be used to slice and dice people into shreds. Yet our words can lift others when they are down.
It’s important to recognize that our world is hurting. People are still struggling with the after effects of isolation, it’s expensive to live (over $10,000 per year more than just three years ago), and everywhere you turn it seems like people are at each other’s throats.
I encourage everyone to choose their words carefully. I’m not suggesting you avoid the truth. Use some gentleness and self-control when engaging in conversation with others.
Unite when possible, don’t divide. We are better together…
Experience
Have you ever had someone describe their favorite beach to you but you don’t feel the same way they do? Empathy means shared experience. The only way you can empathize is through experience.
This is the principle behind Alcoholics Anonymous. Alcoholics willingly share their experience, strength and hope with others in the room. They are all affected by the same disease, so they understand each other. A non-alcoholic might be entertained by some of the incredible stories they will hear in an AA meeting, but it won’t impact them like it does the alcoholic.
I encourage you to share your experiences with others, especially the painful ones. Most people have felt deep heartache in their lives, and you will be letting them know they aren’t alone.
Let your guard down. Don’t waste your pain…
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