Tag Archives: #hope

Spirituality

Breaking Through

This morning I had the privilege of delivering the Commencement Address for 42 inmates who were receiving their high school equivalency certificates. This was the eighth time I have done this during the past year. The thing I always take home with me is the smiles on the graduates faces.

Not only were the young men graduating, for many they were breaking a cycle. Dysfunction is generational until someone changes. Several of the men were the first in their family to graduate.

No one sets out in life to go to prison or get divorced. Things happen. Life’s curveballs will only hold you back if you decide to let them. You get to decide, no one else.

This morning was a fresh new start. The inmates aren’t getting out today. But when they do, there is a brighter path forward…

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Spirituality

When In Rome…

Today we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. Everyone becomes Irish on March 17th. On May 5th most Americans will be Mexican so they can properly celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Well, the United States has been called a melting pot so it sorta makes sense.

Outside of the days I just cited, what is your crowd? Are you the same person at work that you are at home? Sometimes people become chameleons so they will fit in. Being liked and accepted is universal. There’s nothing wrong with it, but you must be yourself to feel genuine.

You were created by a perfect God who made you exactly how He wanted you to be. He knew we would have faults, but God gives us a way through. He cares about us so we are given challenges that grow and develop our character. See your life through God’s eyes, not your own.

If you are celebrating St. Patrick’s Day today, have fun. Remember to wear green. Enjoy the moments and remember to be yourself. Always…

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Spirituality

Greener Grass

You have heard it said that “the grass is always greener on the other side.” This saying could be applied to a work situation or a relationship. Things might look better in a new environment, but this is a distortion.

Every job and every relationship has challenges. Difficult times are part of life’s ups and downs. You might be unhappy in the moment, but it’s just a feeling. Feelings pass. Things change. We grow and we adapt. If we throw in the towel every time a setback is thrown our way, we will spend our lives in a constant state of turmoil.

There is another old saying about grass which I believe is a better idea. That one says “the grass is greener where you water it.”

Spend time focusing on where you are now. Consider your long term goals and what you really want from your life. Are you aligned? If the answer is yes, then I encourage you to stay the course. And if the answer is no, maybe it’s time to water your lawn…

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Spirituality

Enigmatic

Why do bad things happen to good people? That’s one of the many enigmas we can’t understand on this side of eternity. We live with the hope that one day everything will become clear.

There are parts of Scripture that are enigmatic. At the same time, much of it makes sense. Over time, it becomes clearer and clearer after I have read it several times. And one thing is certain: you cannot get it by osmosis. You must read it. Otherwise, your Bible just sits on your bookshelf and collects dust.

As mysterious as God is, we can trust Him. It’s important to remember that God doesn’t cause bad things to happen. He can’t. It would go against His nature. And yes, I said it, there are things God can’t do. Lying, cheating and causing pain are out of His realm. He allows it, but doesn’t cause it.

It’s legitimate to question why. Asking why is one of the best questions we can ask. The answer might not come quickly, but don’t give up. Eventually you will know…

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Spirituality

Make or Break

Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison for opposing South Africa’s apartheid government. He was labeled as a domestic terrorist. In 1994, Mandela became South Africa’s first black president. In his autobiography, Mandela said “prison didn’t break him. Confinement strengthened his resolve.”

Life is going to throw some real shit our way. In those moments we have a choice. We can use them to grow us or they can destroy us. Resilience is built during the dark times, not when things are easy. We find our inner strength when we are tested.

All of life is an unknown. We think we know how each day will turn out, and most of the time we are right. Then something unexpected happens. When this happens I encourage you to face it. Face it until you make it. Ask for guidance from above and hold on to hope.

And remember, you have made it through every dark moment you have faced in the past. Keep going, no matter what…

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Spirituality

Rebellion

When I was a teenager, I grew my hair long. It was stylish back then, but the parents of that generation saw it as rebellious behavior. If you had long hair then you must be on “dope.”

Every generation tries to break free and establish their independence (even though they are still living at home). It’s a normal part of growing up. As a parent I didn’t like always being questioned by my kids, so I had to remind myself why they were doing it. Those reminders became a daily thing.

The ultimate rebel was Jesus. Not only did he disrupt the religious leaders of his day, he created something that has lasted for over 2,000 years. But Jesus taught peace and forgiveness, not overthrow of Rome. A lot of people missed his intentions because they wanted freedom from Roman rule.

Now that’s a true rebel, a rebel for good…

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Spirituality

Decision Time

Where we are in life is the result of a series of decisions we made. We have goals and dreams for our lives that we set in motion to achieve. Our goals are like the destination on a road map. We figure out which roads to take to get us there. Wrong road? Try a different route.

No one sets out to get divorced, go to prison, or become homeless. Sometimes bad things happen. The legacy we are born into plays a part, but we still have a choice no matter what our circumstances are. We can decide to be better.

Victimhood is on the rise. But here’s my observation about victims: if you can walk and talk, you can think and do. No one is a victim of their circumstances.

If you are feeling stuck or bogged down in life, you must decide to change. You will get to where you want to be through hard work and discipline. But those are decisions only you can make.

The choice is yours. It’s time to decide…

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Spirituality

Conflict Resolution

Resolving conflicts is necessary for healthy relationships. You will have disagreements but they don’t have to shred the relationship. Successful conflict resolution begins with trust.

Divorce rates have come down some, yet still hover around 44%. It is estimated that 80% of the couples who stay together aren’t fulfilled in their marriages. Part of the issue is we don’t know how to resolve conflicts in a healthy way. This has generational implications.

We are taught how to argue by watching our parents. If one parent strong arms the other, we learn it’s “my way or the highway.” That’s not going to work in the long run because the counter party feels unimportant. Resentments build, and if they go unexpressed it turns to bitterness. Bitterness destroys you from the inside.

From my own observations around 80% of families are dysfunctional. It’s the same for one parent homes. Kids need structure to feel secure. If they aren’t getting it at home they will find it somewhere.

If dealing with conflict is a challenge for you, I encourage you to learn how to do it better by reading books and periodicals. Practice. Be willing to listen to the person you are in conflict with. Communicate how you feel.

This might make you uncomfortable, but staying comfortable never works. You can learn and grow, even through conflict…

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Spirituality, Uncategorized

Lifelines

Sometimes we need a lifeline. It could come in the form of helping someone out of a mess, or just showing up for someone after they experienced a devastating loss. We are here to help others.

It’s not weak to ask for help. It doesn’t make you any more flawed. It’s best to ask rather than let something fester and grow.

As you know, I write a lot about self work. The right psychotherapist can be the lifeline you need to live a fulfilling life. Internal damage, also known as trauma, doesn’t go away on its own. We have to work through it. This resets our brains in the right way. It’s work, but it’s worth it.

Is there anything bothering you on the inside? Has it been gnawing at you for quite a while? Take the brave first step. Reach for a lifeline…

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